


the floorboards of the pub (they just buckle with our love)

by SzonKlin



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Established Relationship, M/M, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28413795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SzonKlin/pseuds/SzonKlin
Summary: The workmen grit the roadsAs the barman grits his teethHe's praying that the storm will ease up over LondonHe knows he shouldn't driveHe'd be sleeping in his carThat just ain't no good
Relationships: Toby Hamilton/Adil Joshi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10
Collections: Halcyon winter holidays 2020





	the floorboards of the pub (they just buckle with our love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goingaftercacciato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingaftercacciato/gifts).



> I want to start with an apology. I had a fic planned out that ticked quite a few of your wishlist items, but then I got depressed and I decided to take Adil with me. Don't worry, it still ends well :)  
> And if I am good, maybe I'll finish my other idea and I'll write it as a bonus
> 
> This fic is basically a spinoff of the song [This Ain't New Jersey by Smith & Burrows](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNbQcHBX5zc) I recommend listening to it before reading, there are a few references to it in the fic
> 
> Thank you to YourBestMate for betaing

_The workmen grit the roads  
_ _As the barman grits his teeth  
_ _He's praying that the storm will ease up over London  
_ _He knows he shouldn't drive  
_ _He'd be sleeping in his car  
_ _That just ain't no good_

The snowfall was so heavy it looked like a white curtain had been drawn in front of the windows of the pub. It was Christmas Eve, a white Christmas that all the songs sing about and for the people sitting at home by the tree with their loved ones it was undoubtedly beautiful. The streets were almost empty of people. Most people were in with their families celebrating and even those who didn’t care for Christmas wanted to keep away from the snow.

The pub was almost empty too. Just the six people scheduled to work and one couple who had been sitting in a corner for hours, lost in their world, and looking like they were five seconds away from either breaking up, or having sex right there on the table.

They hadn’t ordered in an hour and Adil kept wishing they would leave, but the bar’s policy didn’t allow making guests leave unless it was closing time. Which was still over half an hour away.

Adil nervously refreshed the weather tab on his phone over and over, but the prediction never changed: the snow was only going to get worse. Finally, he resigned himself and sent the other staff home. It was unlikely that the couple would want anything more from the kitchen or that they would suddenly need three bartenders to serve them and there was no point in risking that the other five would also be stuck here for the night.

While the others prepared to leave, he looked wistfully at his carryon, containing a change of clothes and some essentials in case their luggage got lost between Heathrow and Geneva, where they were headed for a skiing vacation with some of Toby’s colleagues. It was an important trip to Toby. He didn’t much care for skiing, but he was so happy to be included despite only working there for less than a year, and for Adil to be invited along with the other significant others, a far cry from the Halcyon Christmas ball, where his father wouldn’t even hear of his son inviting a same sex partner. They even arranged for an evening flight so that Adil could go together with them after his shift.

And now Adil had to text Toby to go on without him. With the way the snow was going at it, he was lucky if he could get his car out of the building and slowly find his way home. It was no way he would be able to make it to the airport on time.

Finally, it was time to make the couple leave – who at the time seemed more inclined to have sex than a breakup and Adil hoped that it would keep until they got home, there is no reason for more people’s night to be ruined – and to begin the task of cleaning up. It normally only took a few minutes, a fun time to rewind with the closing staff, laughing at that day’s ridiculous guests. But tonight, Adil was alone. Without friends, without a boyfriend, without his family. Just him and the snow on a lonely Christmas Eve. And even if he never celebrated it before Toby, the contrast between his plans and his reality made his loneliness hurt even more.

The little velvet box burns a hole into his pocket. He couldn’t leave it at home, where Toby could easily find it whenever he turns their whole flat upside down looking for a specific pen. He has been carrying it around for months now, waiting for the perfect moment and he finally made up his mind that he would find a way to create it on their trip. After all, what could be more romantic than a rustic cabin in the French Alps? Well, certainly not this: kept apart by the snow that was supposed to be their romantic background.

At long last, the floor was cleaned, dishwasher finished the last of the dishes, and the cash has been counted and locked in the safe. Adil double checked the lock – they won’t be open for the next two days and he wouldn’t want any surprises to make his already terrible Christmas even worse – grabbed his bag and made his way to the garage. It was cold, but not icy. A small mercy he was grateful for as he didn’t have to scrape ice off the windows and the car warmed up in only a few moments. But that’s all the mercy he got. As he opened the gate, he was greeted with a wall of snow that the wind must have packed into the driveway. He could shovel it away, clear the few feet of probably still fairly powdery snow, but what for? To make a lonely and cold drive to a lonely and cold home? The snow would stop by morning, the roads would be cleared, and he could drive home then. Not that it would make much difference. No-one would know and no-one would care.

He longed to call Toby, but he wouldn’t have landed yet, and even if he had, what is the point of bringing him down? Adil already messed up Toby’s plans, there is no point in ruining his trip even more. Adil knew he got annoyingly needy and bleak when he was in one of his bad moods. At least Toby wouldn’t have to put up with him this time.

Bundled up in the clothes he had in his carryon, Adil turned the engine off. The garage wasn’t too cold, and there was no point in draining his accumulator. He curled up on the backseat and let his mind wander.

Time passed. It was hard to tell how much in the darkness only lit by the exit lights and with the darkness of his thoughts. Suddenly he was pulled back to the present by Toby’s ringtone. Adil answered apprehensively, unsure of whether Toby will be angry or disappointed.

“Hi Adil,” Toby’s voice was cheerful, if somewhat spotty with distance and Adil’s underground position.

“Toby, hi,” Adil started. “Listen I am so so sorry, I know…” but he was interrupted.

“Stop, Adil, sorry. It is pretty cold outside, we can talk properly once I’m inside I just wanted…”

“No, yes, of course. Call me back when…”

“Wait!” Toby cut into Adil’s apology again.

Adil snapped his mouth almost audibly. Of course Toby wouldn’t want to argue or listen to Adil’s longwinded self-flagellation with his friends surrounding him.

“Listen, where are you?” Toby finally asked.

“At the pub?” Adil answered in confusion.

“Can you let me in?”

“What?”

“I’m at the pub, but I don’t see you and I’ve been knocking for five minutes.”

“What do you mean you are at the pub?” Adil’s brain seemed to be frozen with the cold and refusing to work at normal speed. “But we are snowed in.”

“I know. I fought my way to the door, but it is getting quite cold so could you please open it for me?”

Adil still wasn’t sure if he was just hallucinating from hypothermia, but he climbed out of his nest in the car and made his way up to the pub. And indeed, Toby was standing at the door, half covered in snow, holding their luggage and two steaming cups, squinting as he tried to look into the dark pub.

He quickly unlocked the door and Toby fell in along with a ton of snow, but he didn’t seem the least bit upset. He smiled at Adil, as if he was right where he wanted to be.

“What are you doing here?” Adil asked. “Was the flight cancelled?”

“Adil, love,” Toby replied, dropping his bag so he could put his hand on Adil’s face. Toby’s fingers were ice cold, but Adil still leant into the touch. “Do you really think I would have gone without you?”

“You should have. They are your colleagues, and you were so excited.”

“It was nice to be included, but the gesture still stands, and aside from that the main draw was to have a vacation with you. How could I enjoy that, knowing you are stuck here? You would have just picked up an extra shift and worked through what was supposed to be a holiday, and I need to stop you from that.” Confusingly, Toby kept on smiling even as he was explaining how Adil’s inability to look after himself prevented Toby from having a vacation.

“You could have just called.”

“I could have, but then I would have missed you. It isn’t Christmas without you. And the good news is, my family is already up at the House and we can’t leave London with the snow, so it can be just the two of us for several days.”

“So, you aren’t mad?” Adil _knew_ it was a stupid question. That Toby never got mad at him, not really. But it was hard to stop the question from falling out of him mouth every time his moods got in the way of their plans.

“No, Adil,” Toby answered firmly. “I am not mad at you at all. Now, how about we talk some more about our plans for the week tomorrow? And for now, let’s just cosy up, drink some mulled wine and maybe raid the storage here and have a nice Christmas Eve just for the two of us and be glad that we aren’t spending the evening at airports. Now, where did you set up?”

Toby craned his neck to look into the dark staff room.

“I – In the car,” Adil mumbled.

“Adil,” Toby sighed, but then seemed to think better of it, and started again. “Okay then let’s go down and get your things. And turn the thermostat back up in here. And then we can pick the cosiest couch up here.”

“Employees aren’t supposed to use the facilities without prior permission.”

“I am sure that Robbie will forgive you just this once. A few less frozen pastries might be preferable to a few more frozen bodies when he comes in in two days,” Toby teased.

They walked into the garage, and with Toby there, it all seemed so different. Details, that Adil tended to miss when he got lost among his thoughts were now so obvious, Adil felt rather silly for planning on spending the night there. The temperature was just above freezing, the car was a mess and smelled slightly of rotten apples from the time they forgot a bag of groceries for days and the exit light was flickering in a way that made his head hurt.

Toby just gave him a look but refrained from saying anything. By now he probably knew that just his presence was enough to help Adil see more clearly.

They eventually gathered Adil’s things and escaped the dreary garage to the already warming pub. Toby finally coaxed Adil to raid the kitchen and make themselves some fish and chips before cuddling up on one of the loveseats.

Toby kept the silence and the dark thoughts away by keeping up a constant stream of chatter all along. Adil couldn’t have repeated back anything he said, but the cheery tone helped affirm him that Toby really wasn’t angry or even upset about the change of plans.

After their dinner, Toby acquired a bottle of wine, put some music on his phone, and dimmed the light and they sat in the near silence, watching the snow fall outside. With the worry about being stuck gone, it really was a pretty sight, the snowflakes almost golden in the lights of the streetlamps.

One of Toby’s arms held him close, while his other hand was gently combing his fingers through Adil’s hair and as Adil’s back was pressed against Toby’s chest, he imagined he could feel Toby’s heartbeat even through all the layers of clothing.

The silence was no longer a space for bad thoughts but a soft cocoon embracing them in a bubble of love and happiness. The numbness from the wine was a warm buzz completely unlike the earlier numbness of depression.

“I might be a bit drunk,” Adil admitted when he turned his head towards Toby, and the motion made the whole room swim.

Toby only hummed in reply.

“I’m sorry I almost let myself freeze to death tonight,” Adil continued. He didn’t particularly want to talk about his thoughts of the afternoon, but he knew it was better to be open when he felt himself slipping.

“You need to take care of yourself. I can’t be there to do it for you every time,” It wasn’t the first time Toby said those words, and Adil was still amazed at how he had the patience to say it with the same unjudging kindness every time.

“I know. It’s not your job…” Toby silenced him with a peck on the lips.

“I want it to be. It is just that I might not always be able to.”

There was nothing to answer to that. They both knew Toby was right, and it wasn’t that Adil wasn’t trying to do better.

Toby suddenly sat up, almost knocking Adil to the floor. They laughed, breaking the spell of sadness, and Toby arranged themselves, so they were still touching as much as possible while being able to see each other’s faces.

“There is something happier that I wanted to talk about,” Toby said once they settled down. “Do you remember the Halcyon Winter Ball four years ago?”

“I have some vague memories, yes,” Adil teased. It wasn’t like he could have forgotten the night they finally got together after months of pining.

“It is hard to believe it has been four years. As cliché as it sounds, it feels like it was yesterday while I feel like I’ve been with you my whole life.”

“It does feel like that.”

“And there is no way I was going to miss our fourth anniversary.”

“Is there a special significance to the fourth one that I am unaware of?”

“Only that it is the last one before the fifth.”

“Congratulations, you’ve proven that you are smarter than a three-year-old.”

“Excuse you, I was fully capable of counting to ten by the time I was two.”

“My mistake, Professor Hamilton.”

“Anyway, back to my point.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realise you had one,” Adil said, actually sticking his tongue out at Toby.

“I always have a point!” Toby replied in mock outrage. “I just sometimes take so long to make it that I lose it.”

“As you seem to be doing right now.”

“Right. So as I was saying, this is our last anniversary before our fifth one, and I wanted to make some plans for that.”

“Must be some big plans if you need a year to get ready.”

“Well, yes. I was thinking…” Toby paused and pulled away so he could reach into his pocket. “I was thinking that for our fifth anniversary, we could get married.” Toby pulled out a little velvet box.

Adil opened the lid to reveal a ring that was the perfect match for the one in Adil’s coat pocket. “Toby?” They have of course talked about getting married, but it was still unbelievable that Toby would ask him on the night Adil almost ruined everything.

“I may have found a receipt for a ring you bought and convinced a dreamy eyes shop assistant to reveal your design so I could get a pair for that. Can I assume that the fact that you also bought a ring means your answer is yes?”

Adil laughed at the slight uncertainty in Toby’s voice. “Yes! Of course it is yes!” he pulled the ring out of his coat. “I feel like after tonight, I should be the one asking if you are sure.”

“I am,” Toby said reverently, taking the ring and placing it on Adil’s finger. “There is no one I would rather have by my side on my bad days, and nowhere I’d rather be when you have yours. There is no one who can calm me like you can when my thoughts run away, and I hope I can do the same for you. And that’s not even the good days. The games and movies and walks and dates. I want it all, the better and the worse as long as we both shall live.”

“I am glad the snow has trapped me here with you,” was all Adil could say before the emotions of the evening caught up with him and prevented him from saying anything more. But he made up for his silence with kissing Toby soundly through his tears.

_I may have had a bit to drink  
I may have done some dumb things  
But I'm glad the storm has trapped me here  
With you_

**Author's Note:**

> I promise Adil is in therapy, but sometimes his thoughts still run away with him. But he is doing better now, having a lovely staycation with his fiancé  
> [And these are the rings they have for each other](https://szonklin.tumblr.com/post/639148854843932672/the-rings-are-both-made-out-of-petrified-walnut)


End file.
